This one may be deep. Prepare yourself.
Let me get right into it. It all started in kindergarten. My mom had worked with me for months to prepare me for school. I knew my alphabet, numbers, how to count, and how to write (some). I was no pro, but I was a little ahead. Once I got in school, I realized I did NOT fit in with other kids. They were loud and undisciplined. I was placed next to a boy that broke all of the crayons and pencils and ripped his paper. Every time we were given work to do, he bothered me. One day, he got scissors and cut my nap mat into three pieces. My teacher bought me a new Barney one and it was the coolest one in the class. The chaos bothered me so bad that I asked the teacher if I could put my desk next to hers so I could concentrate. She allowed it for a day.

Banned from the Weekly Coloring Contest
It didn’t end there. The class had a coloring contest every Friday. There was a competition of who was best in the class and those winners competed for best in the grade. I won three weeks in a row. My teacher came to me and told me that I was cut off from winning. She told me that my coloring was too good and we need to give other kid’s a chance to win.

Excuse me? The kid next to me colored his with a number 2 pencil and I have to dumb down my art for that? My page wasn’t entered into the following contests. That story always reminds me of the time a girl in my middle school was cut off from winning beauty pageants because she had won three years in a row.

Done Trying
That’s when I decided that I hated school. It stayed that way until I graduated. I had a few friends that I really loved that I still keep in touch with today. They’re the only two that stuck around.

I always knew I was different. I feel like I always felt more than the average kid. When one of my friends lost a loved one in second grade, I asked what was wrong and if they were okay. No one else seemed to care. I felt empathy. I felt pain with them and wanted to make it better. The other kids were too busy playing and I was too busy wondering why my friend was sitting against a wall crying. The way other kids acted was foreign to me.

This feeling continued into high school and college. I never cared to be socially accepted. I was the emo kid. I wore what I wanted. I didn’t care about what was cool. I owned zero name-brand clothes. I listened to punk rock, heavy metal, bluegrass, country, and every other genre of music. When the college and military recruiters came to the school junior and senior year, I didn’t have an answer for what I wanted to take in college. I didn’t apply for scholarships and I honestly didn’t want to take anything. The only thing I thought may be fun was welding and autobody repair and I didn’t do wither. Once I finally went to college, I took visual communications. It consisted of painting, computer graphics, art history, biology, and math. It was two wasted semesters because I flunked and ended up dropping out.

The Ongoing Job Changes
I went on to work menial jobs for the next eight years until I finally started metal work when I was twenty-six. You can read about those adventures in previous posts if you like.
I went on to work menial jobs for the next eight years until I finally started metal work when I was twenty-six. You can read about those adventures in previous posts if you like. Even though I loved my jobs in various fab and carpentry shops, I still went home exhausted. Deep down, I knew there was more to life.

Breaking Point: Found
For the last year, I have felt like I’m about to explode. Working to pay bills and keep food on the table shouldn’t be what we work for. Most families are barely scraping by with two incomes because daycare is extremely expensive and it takes a huge chunk of your money to pay for it. The average daycare is between one hundred and a hundred and fifty dollars a week. Imagine having multiple kids that have to go. You’re only working to keep the daycare paid for.

Society and Its LIES
We are taught from such a young age to decide what we want to do with our lives so we can make money, have a big house, have a nice wedding, have kids, and have all of these “accomplishments”. In high school, they ask seventeen year old kids what they want to take in college. But has anyone ever thought that there are other ways to sustain your life? Why should we have to take all of these steps? I’m not saying we don’t need doctors, attorneys, and various other workers. But what about the people that have no desire for that? The ones that want to keep to themselves and not participate? What about the disabled children that may eventually need a way to support themselves? What are the alternatives? Not everyone can join the military and college may only be a dream for others. Why are we pressured by society to be “successful?” Money doesn’t always equal success. Peace of mind may mean success to others.

“Alternative” Living
Why can’t we teach self sufficiency? Why cant young adults be taught to maintain their own food source? We can teach gardening and how to raise livestock. Teach children that they can create their own way with entrepreneurship. I’m aware of the various clubs offered at schools but shouldn’t some of it be a required course? We’re just pawns used to put money into the system. Many people will stay poor and depend on the government or retail stores to feed themselves.

Just Don’t Conform
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I will never fit in with society and I won’t even try. (It’s not like I’ve ever tried, anyway) I’ll never feel like working and killing my body and mind is the only way. I’m tired of missing time with my family. I’m tired of being exhausted. I’ve started taking small steps to improve my situation by preparing a spot in my back yard for a garden and investing in chickens. My goal this year is to grow enough vegetables and preserve them to use the entire winter. I guess we will see how this turns out!

Don’t let people tell you that the beaten path is the only way. Step back and look at your life. Are you living above your means? Are you wasting money and time on things that society tells you that you need? Is your peace of mind dwindling with the stress you’re under just trying to survive? Maybe it’s time for a change.